Brianna Ghey's Phone Didn't Stab Her 28 Times

The trans girl murder victim's mom has turned her death into an unrelated political crusade against teenage phone use.

Note: I want to be clear upfront that I have no issue with Esther Ghey, mother of murdered UK trans girl Brianna Ghey.

Brianna Ghey's brutal murder at the hands of two of her classmates sent shockwaves throughout the UK and amongst white trans people in the US. She was stabbed 28 times in the head, neck, and face and her killers admitted viewing her with equal parts fascination and disgust.

It's an unfortunately common and toxic way for cis people to view trans people throughout time. Evidence presented at the trial of Brianna's killers showed how they carefully chose her as their potential victim and then lured her in with the promise of real life friendship.

It's impossible to divorce the larger societal atmosphere from Ghey's murder. Yes the killers were disturbed individuals and likely would have killed someone else under different circumstances. But you can't have a national press and consecutive governments who have gone all in on the message that trans people do not deserve rights, that trans women and girls are an inherent threat to half the population, that trans teenagers have no right to control their own bodies, and then claim that it was just a coincidence that these killers chose a trans girl as their victim.

When I first heard the details of her murder and subsequent trial, I hoped, perhaps naively, that the British press and the country's politicians would realize the society of hate against trans people they had created and spread throughout the country.

I should have known better.

There was an outpouring of sympathy, love, and media attention for Brianna's mother, Esther, following her daughter's death. Even Keir Starmer, who has publicly called trans women "men", made use of Esther to win political points in parliament.

I had hoped Esther would speak out against the culture of hate that permeates UK media, I had hoped she would speak out against Labour's ban on teenagers taking puberty blockers. Instead Esther has launched an all out effort to restrict the use of cell phones by teenagers.

But cell phone use had very little to do with Brianna's murder, having only been used to arrange the meetup where the stabbing happened.

Esther, who has a new book coming out soon (in which she repeatedly uses her daughter's birth name), has instead spoken vaguely about how Brianna's cell phone use led her down a dark path. Her latest effort would create rules that require teenage students to lock their phones away in a pouch during the school day.

Now I don't disagree that teenage phone use is an ongoing social concern, and I even agree with the idea of banning cell phone use at school. I have a 16 year old daughter at home and she frequently tells me that she wishes phones would be banned at school.

My issue is not with the policy proposal, my issue is the idea that Brianna's death was a cell phone issue. It plainly wasn't.

For those on the outside looking in at this, the cell phone advocacy might seem strange. But what's being left unsaid by Brianna's mom is that every major anti-trans groups has pushed the idea that being trans is a social contagion spread through teenage phone use.

It's this idea at the basis of discredited ideas like "Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria", which claims that teenagers suddenly turn trans when they discover trans acceptance online.

In anti-trans parental spaces, the first and most common piece of advice for parents with children who come out as trans or who want to experiment with gender expansiveness is to take away the child's phone.

This is also the first step that abusers take to isolate victims.

They do this because most offline spaces are now openly hostile to trans people, especially trans youth. This forces us to find community online where we can more easily build a safer and more supportive community. This can also lead to social isolation from "IRL" (in real life) spaces, but that is not a problem of the cell phones but rather the social hostility towards trans people in general.

Now, I want to be clear, my issue is not with Esther, and she hasn't said any of these things. But I don't trust the people around her, nor do I trust the politicians using her as a prop for attention at the moment. I wish her all the best in dealing with her grief in any way she can. I just want to explain some of the underlying dynamics around this campaign that are just underneath the surface of public discourse.

The phone stuff is nice, but it's not going to prevent the next trans person from getting murdered. And that's not to mention that we as a white English speaking society only noticed Brianna's death because she is white and suburban, how many Black trans girls have died that we all ignored?

This society has a serious transphobic violence problem and it is driven by fear and ignorance and mainly propped up by our media. Fix your hearts now, for the sake of the next trans teen victim.

I really need your help. I know times are tough for everyone, so it's okay if you can't, but if you appreciate my work, I desperately need you to become a paid subscriber. Everything is getting more expensive, my health insurance premium is going way up, and now I'm losing my subsidy. Become a paid subscriber and help me out.

Best,

-Katelyn