He Doesn't Even Go Here - Sick Burns 10/17/2025
It's been a busy week over here at Burns Notice HQ. Here's a recap of everything you missed, what I've been thinking about lately, and what caught my eye this week
What I've Been Watching: I spent last night watching the New York City mayoral debate between State Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani, Republican Curtis Sliwa, and former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo.
Now let me caveat this by saying I'm not a resident of New York, and I've never lived there. I grew up before high school a few hours north in upstate New York but I have family in the city and have had the privilege of spending a lot of time there.
Also I grew up a Yankees fan, but we'll come back to that soon.
I've always had an interest in NYC politics. I find it a mysterious and mystical place full of bizarre bureaucracies and the 6th most well funded army on the planet. In my adult life, NYC has never had a normal mayor. From Rudy Giuliani, who made being the mayor during 9/11 his entire personality, to Eric Adams, of Grand Theft Ottoman fame, the mayor has always been a weird little guy.
Zohran Mamdani's campaign has been a breath of fresh air this year, as he has centered the actual people of New York in his campaign rather than the odd little media and political fixations of the past. It's no coincidence that I'm a fan of Mamdani's policies. I like his ideas around the city's affordability and transit system and have stated so many times, including on my podcast last week.
But as I was watching last night's debate, it felt like there were only two New Yorkers on that stage. I don't mean in New Yorker in the sense of "someone from New York state," like me growing up. I mean New Yorker meaning "someone who lives and comes from New York City."
And Cuomo wasn't one of the New Yorkers.
Sliwa is clearly a weird little guy. He would fit right in with the pantheon of weird little guy mayors of NYC's past. I don't agree with him on anything really, but you can tell just by looking at him that he's a New Yorker. You can tell he's had many hot dogs from street vendors or dollar pizza by the slice. He's a weird guy, but he's NYC's weird guy.
He's also a Yankees fan.
Likewise, you can just tell that Mamdani knows the experience of relying on the city's public transportation system to get around. It comes through in almost everything he puts out. You can tell he's visited just about every corner of every borough.
He's also very open about being a fan of the Mets, who play in his home borough of Queens.
And then there's Cuomo. The political nepo-baby of former New York City governor Mario Cuomo, who was in office when I was a child in upstate New York. Andrew Cuomo, like his father and grandmother, was born in Queens. He went to Fordham University in the Bronx for his undergraduate before going to law school in Albany. He began his career by working for his father's campaign in 1982 and went on to chair the NYC Homeless Commission for three years starting in 1990.
From there, Cuomo's ties to NYC get more and more sparse. He went to DC to work as the Assistant Secretary and then eventually Secretary of Housing and Urban Development under Bill Clinton in the late 90s before making his jump into statewide New York politics in the early 2000s.
He smacks of a Westchester guy. He views the city, and the job he's currently running for as beneath him. Just a few years ago, Cuomo seemed like a shoe-in to run for president in this next cycle. From the outside looking in, he appears bitter to just be running, and losing, this race for mere mayor of NYC.
To a guy who views ruling New York politics as his birthright, he looks annoyed to have to be glad handing and kissing babies across the five boroughs. Cuomos shouldn't have to do retail politics in NYC, that's what the machine was for.
It's not lost on me that Cuomo's background before state politics was almost completely in governing the housing sector and now he's losing an election defined by how unaffordable housing is. Hoisted by his own petard, it seems.
Cuomo simply cannot win an affordability election because he's well established as the guy who oversaw the biggest rise in housing costs in the city's history.
Besides all that, Cuomo insists that he is an equal fan of both the Mets and the Yankees. What a chickenshit answer. Oil and water don't mix. You cannot be a fan of both. It comes off as pandering bullshit. No self respecting New Yorker would say this.
I say good riddance to the failson of New York politics.
The funniest thing I saw this week: You have to see this clip of leftist political commentator Hasan Piker react live to Cuomo demanding Mamdani denounce the Twitch streamer during last night's debate:
Joining Piker on stream was my favorite comedian, Gianmarco Soresi, who was on my podcast, Cancel Me, Daddy just a few months ago. Take a listen:
What I've been reading:
-This Politico investigation into leaked Young Republican groupchat messages praising Hitler, calling for genocide of American minorities, and other heinously racist shit.
-"The Stronger Sex: What Science Tells Us about the Power of the Female Body" by author Starre Vartan. I learned so much from this book and was lucky enough to read an early draft of it as a expert/sensitivity reader. This book does a fantastic job dispelling the actual science from the gendered myths we've all been conditioned to believe in modern society.
What I've been working on:
-Monday's Burns Notice column argued that Democrats must get over the urge to use cops to solve every political and societal problem if we have any hope of rebuilding our democracy after Trump.
-Wednesday's Burns Notice piece was about how American right wingers are significantly more loyal to foreign conservatives and fascists than they are to their more liberal and lefty American neighbors.
Since I published that piece, it was announced that President Trump would be meeting with Vladimir Putin (who I mentioned in the piece) in Budapest, Hungary (which I also mentioned in the piece). I wonder if Putin will be seeking a peace deal after seeing his forces in Ukraine get smashed for the last several months.
Also after publishing, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt went on Fox News and said that the Democratic Party base is all “Hamas terrorists, illegal aliens, and violent criminals."
-We also recorded a new episode of Cancel Me, Daddy with guest Michael Hobbes (If Books Could Kill and Maintenance Phase). The new episode will be about Bari Weiss and her appointment as head of CBS News and the episode will come out on YouTube next Wednesday and everywhere you listen to podcasts on Thursday morning.
You can now listen to the latest episode of the pod by clicking on the "Cancel Me, Daddy Podcast" link in the header of BurnsNotice.com!
Final Words: "You’re gonna stand up to Trump? You, Andrew Cuomo? You lost your own primary and you’re still here because you don’t know the meaning of the word 'no.'"
-NYC mayoral candidate Curtis Sliwa to Andrew Cuomo in last night's debate
Thank you for reading! Have a good weekend! If you appreciated this piece, consider becoming a paid subscriber!
-Katelyn
